Sarcastic email to MP about energy price controls

Dear Mr MP,

I know parliament is dissolved and you only want to hear about important matters but I can’t contain my enthusiasm about the following matter!

Regarding implementing a similar policy to Ed Miliband’s freeze on energy prices (one of the things which prompted the Daily Mail’s misguided 2015 election headline “A Return to the Bad Old Days"), since this can’t have any drawbacks, I look forward to the government banning holiday companies charging more during school holidays, McLaren being made to price their cars within reach of normal folk, and many other things. I’m glad that the market is being sent a signal that rather than responding to the caprices of supply and demand, it should instead consider what Mrs May would want it to do. This common sense move will surely convince foreign investors that Britain is a strong and stable place to come and do business, especially in the wake of Brexit. Furthermore the policy will benefit the people of Venezuela, whose government will finally be able to learn the correct implementation of price controls, so that toilet paper shortages can become a thing of the past.

Yours sincerely,